Thoughts On Feeling Like A Failure

hayley-27

"Your life is so glamorous" they said.

"You're always on holiday" they said.

"You get sent so much free stuff" they said.

I'm in the weirdest predicament right now. The above comments are something that I hear a fair amount, from family, from friends, from fellow bloggers or followers. It's such a weird feeling when people put your job on a pedestal but at the same time you feel like a failure. Like you're not good enough. Like your job doesn't deserve to be put on a pedestal because you know you're not quite enough right now.

I feel like I'm letting everyone down, including myself.

My head hasn't felt like it's been in the game for quite some time now, I'm not happy with the content I've been producing, my pictures, the quality - everything isn't quite up to scratch.

But what worries me, even though I hate feeling like I'm not producing my best work, I hate to feel like I'm letting you down. Like my content isn't worthy of reading or viewing anymore, like I'll be forgotten. It's so, so hard not to compare yourself to others. And whilst I know I have a good thing going on (please don't think for one minute that I'm not grateful to call blogging my job, because I really, really am so thankful everyday that I can do what I love), it's just so hard to not compare your journey to those around you.

I hate feeling like this, you guys know that I'm normally so happy-go-lucky, my outlook on life is always so positive, I see the best in everyone and every situation.

But, you know what? It's okay to admit that I'm not okay.

We all have bad days, regardless of how perfect people may think our lives are. I pride myself on being totally honest with you all, I see my followers as extended friends and family; there for me through the bad times, and to celebrate the good times. And for that I couldn't be more thankful to have you all following my journey and allowing me to make this my job.

A massive factor of my un-inspired-ness comes from not having moved back home yet, and I know this. I'm currently living with Ben and whilst I adore living with him, it's not my space, y'know?! I'm itching to get back into my family home and create a beautiful space where I can relax, clear my head and feel motivated. The copper and the marble decor is calling me (biggest cliche ever, no?!), but I just want a space where I can feel creative again.

I reallyyyyyyyyyy didn't want this to be a rambl-y, negative post - and I hope it hasn't been? I just wanted to let you guys know what's going on with me. So when I'm not posting on social as much or producing as much content, just know that I'm here - working constantly to better myself and my space on the internet, I just need a wee bit of down time, sometimes you kind of work yourself into the ground and pile on the stress and pressures that it can be easy to forget that 'hey, this is my job and I'm lucky as hell to do something that I love every darn day' - it's easy to sap the fun and creativeness from it all.

Which is why I'm off to drink some hot chocolate, get a pen to paper (old school brainstorming style) and work on some content that I can't wait to share with you all... it's time to get my blogging mojo back!

And for now, thank you, you beautiful lot, as ever for sticking with me; through the rough and the smooth! Y'all know how much ILY all?! <3 

21 Comments

  1. Beth Norton 11th July 2016 / 1:14 pm

    My goodness girl, I relate to this SO much! You’ve worded this so perfectly.

    But remember you are fantastic. Your content is gorgeous and your beautiful personality comes across with every word you write. You are adored in the industry, remember that.

    We all need to ‘take 5’ sometimes!

    Love you lady.

    Beth x

    • Hayley 11th July 2016 / 5:02 pm

      So glad I’m not the only one feeling this way lady, it’s easy to beat yourself up over things like this! I love you so much – cannot wait to see you soon gorge! <3 xx

  2. Elizabeth Ferguson 11th July 2016 / 3:46 pm

    A bad day doesn’t mean a bad life, and while you’re feeling pretty crummy at the moment, it can only get better. You’re the most important person in your own life and you have to do what makes you happy.
    Your honest is so lovely and refreshing because it breaks down the stigma that bloggers are perfect and you shouldn’t feel pressured to fit in to that ideal.
    I’m excited to read more of your posts because you seem like a fab and down to earth blogger!
    Good luck and wishing you the best!
    xxxxxx

    • Hayley 11th July 2016 / 5:04 pm

      I completely agree with you lovely, we have to embrace the bad days with the good – it’s not all rose tinted glasses! Definitely, I’m the first one to admit that this life isn’t perfect and am glad I can be so honest with you all! <3 xx

  3. Emma Harrison 11th July 2016 / 4:55 pm

    Reading this has been so reassuring – I’ve been in a very similar place recently with my blog, whilst I have been extremely proud of some of the content that I have produced, others I have hit schedule and instantly regretted it.

    I have some great ideas but at the moment turning those into posts just isn’t happening, I want to make my content more personal & inspiring and I want to get in front of the camera more but time is against me and well I just need to get out there more!

    However, I for one have loved your recent content and can’t wait to see what you produce when your head is back in the game!

    Emma | HarmonyBlaze.co.uk

    • Hayley 11th July 2016 / 5:05 pm

      I’m so glad to hear that you’ve found this post reassuring my lovely! Same here, sometimes I find myself churning out content to meet deadlines and expectations but I’m not loving what I’m producing so why should others love it? Thank you for your lovely comment! xx

  4. Alice Tanswell 11th July 2016 / 6:48 pm

    I totally understand why you feel this way. Thank you for sharing such a post. Its so easy to pretend everything is okay. Its great to see more people speaking out and just admitting theyre not okay.

    • Hayley 12th July 2016 / 4:38 pm

      Thank you for your lovely comment! 🙂 x

  5. Erin 11th July 2016 / 6:54 pm

    I always love your content, but I know how you feel about not feeling quite right and needing your own space. I really struggle when I don’t have that one bit to call my own, once you have that on track im sure your creativity will come screaming back, just put a plan into place for what you want and what your goal is, and try not to feel pressured on here. I see so many big bloggers forcing out content when they need a week just to breath and take a step back. I think it is needed once in a while, no matter the size 🙂 All my love!

    Erin || MakeErinOver

    • Hayley 12th July 2016 / 4:39 pm

      Thank you for your lovely comment as always girl! <3 Yes I completely agree, sometimes we end up spilling out content that we aren't entirely satisfied with, everyone needs a break from time to time! x

  6. Caitlin Dalton 11th July 2016 / 6:59 pm

    Aw Hayley this was such a lovely post (in a good way). It was such an honest and reflective post and was very well written and didn’t come across negative at all!

    You are a blogger I really look up to. Not because of any jobs you land with blogging but becuase of your personality and the way you come across on social media! You come across as such a nice person with a really positive attitude and I’m all about surrounding myself with people like that!

    You do an amazing job with your blog and I read every single post you write #notastalkeripromise haha!

    I hope you get your mojo back soon and get back to how you used to feel! You’re doing great, and aren’t letting anyone down!!

    • Hayley 12th July 2016 / 4:40 pm

      Ah thank you lovely! So glad you didn’t think it came across negative, I didn’t want it to be a rant you know! Ah that’s so lovely thank you, the most important thing to me is to be myself! Thank you! <3 x

  7. Amy Deverson 11th July 2016 / 10:18 pm

    Just want you to know your blog is amazing, and something you should be extremely proud of. I sometimes struggle with feeling confident and comfortable with my blog and myself too – it’s horrible but just remember you’re fab! xo

    Amy | http://www.perksofbeingamy.co.uk

    • Hayley 12th July 2016 / 4:40 pm

      Thank you lovely! I think we all feel it from time to time, that’s for sure! x

  8. Holly 12th July 2016 / 7:29 am

    I’ve only just started blogging so don’t feel that kind of pressure from my blog just yet but regardless this post is truly comforting to know that its not just me that has those sour faced days. I know exactly how you feel when it comes to needing space and feeling like everything is getting on top of you. I love your blog and think the content is very varied, which is great if I’m having a rough day and need to feel better I know I can choose a post that I can relate to and then I don’t feel so bad. The same goes for when I need inspiration for my next trip or if I want to know where the best bargains are.
    Try not to be so disheartened with your blog its GREAT! and a huge inspiration for my own
    Thank you

    • Hayley 12th July 2016 / 4:41 pm

      Thank you for your lovely comment lady! It’s just so hard when it’s your job and not a hobby because you HAVE to be on form you know? Just going to take a little time to work out what it is I’m aiming for! 🙂 x

  9. Michelle Christensen 13th July 2016 / 6:43 pm

    So glad I fell over your blog, it is absolutely stunning!
    And you know, if we never question our own work, we never get better. And this includes everything we do in life!
    This only shows how passionate you are about it! I say, just keep on going strong, and always stay true to your selfs, no matter the pressure people put on you!!
    You go girl!! 😀

    http://themidnightblonde.com/

    • Hayley 14th July 2016 / 9:50 pm

      Thank you for your lovely comment! 🙂 Definitely, we’re our own best/worst critic but at least it helps us constantly raise the bar! x

  10. the adventurer 20th July 2016 / 4:20 am

    I know what you mean, there can be several days when I am not in the mood to work on my blog and just post something in order to have a post up but I am not so happy with what I have produced. Sometimes it’s ok to also take a step back and just give yourself a few days away and that way you can recharge your creative battery and get back to writing =o)

    https://dreamofadventures.blogspot.com

    • Hayley 20th July 2016 / 11:06 am

      I completely agree love – it’s so important to have some time out and re-charge, it can feel too much like a chore otherwise! x

  11. Georgina Clarke 20th July 2016 / 8:52 pm

    So refreshing to see such honesty. Blogging is an ‘evil mistress’ – it can make you feel really shit but from what I can see you have nothing to worry about 🙂 sometimes taking a little time out can work wonders though.

    Came across your blog because you commented on Wooden Window Sills and I absolutely love it! Am following you on BlogLovin’!
    Georgina | Georgina Clarke Blog

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *