“You Don’t Drown By Falling In The Water, You Drown By Staying There” – Edwin Louis Cole
Boy, does it feel good to be back!
I’ve not blogged in around 10 days, and for some that might not seem a lot but for me it is. I think it’s the biggest break I’ve had from blogging since I started, apart from when I was going through a break up earlier this year.
I couldn’t have needed the time off anymore. Christmas and New Year was a weird time for me, I was really unsettled at my family home and decided to up and move to London for a couple of months. I just hit that really awkward claustrophobic feeling of being too old to be at home and desperately needing some space.
My decision to move to London was a fairly quick one, and also tainted the ‘most wonderful time of the year’. Whilst I’m excited to move to London and start a new chapter of my life, I was also sad that due to the circumstance I didn’t feel like I had a choice other than to move out.
I was pouring so much time into finding somewhere to live, that my blog massively took a back seat.
It didn’t feel like a priority.
Not only that, my head just wasn’t in the right place to sit down and write to you all.
I didn’t feel overly happy and I didn’t want to reflect that in my posts. Whilst I know we all have down days and it’s perfectly normal to feel sad, it just didn’t feel right. I felt like I was failing myself, and you guys by not posting, but I knew it just had to be done. A break was well and truly needed.
I decided to do bare minimum when it came to my social media and emails to keep me ticking over but it was so nice to step away for a while and re-charge my batteries.
I also felt like I’d massively hit a brick wall with my blog. The ‘bloggers block’ as some like to call it, it’s a horrible thing to come up against. I felt like I wasn’t good enough, I wasn’t being organised and making the most of my time off. My content didn’t feel up to scratch.
I became so sick of conforming. Trying to stylise my blog and fit in so people would want to follow me and read. I became tired of trying to make my pictures look beautiful and Pinterest-worthy.
During this time away from blogging it’s made me realise that I’m done with confirming. A while back I started to stylise my Instagram and used borders for everything, I’d feel really anxious that my pictures weren’t good enough to post.
I’ve decided that this year I’m done with that.
I want my blog to feel real. To be me. I want to connect with you guys on a whole new level, I want to talk to you like you’re my friends. Because you are. I want to hear what you love, and what you don’t particularly like. Is there anything I can help you with? Blog wise or personal?
I want my blog to be a platform where I can communicate with you all. I want to stop worrying about if my pictures are ‘pretty’ enough, or if they’ll get enough likes. I want this blog and my channels to portray the real me, even if they don’t fit in with my Instagram ‘grid’. SOZ BOUT IT.
Tomorrow I’m moving to London and this week I’ll have a new design going live on my blog. I’m so incredibly excited for a new chapter, I can’t wait to spend lots of time shooting outfits and catching up with friends. I’m also useless when it comes to London, so if you want to grab some cake and play tour guide, I’m open to offers!
It feels so, so good to be back and now my head is clear, I feel ready to come back to work and knuckle down, creating content that you guys love to read. I really want to up my game with imagery, editing and writing this year, so my aim is to better myself, and in return better my blog.
This was a really weird period of my life and at times it really did feel like I was drowning, like everything was a little overwhelming, so retreating and almost shutting it down was easier than facing up to everything. It did me good, to take a step back and come at it again with a fresh outlook. I was so very fortunate to have someone special by my side during this time, holding my hand to guide me and to pick me back up when I was down. But, more on that soon ladies! 😉
I’m hoping you guys stick around for the journey, and I want to thank every single one of you for staying with me thus far, it means the world!