3 months… can you believe it?! It’s absolutely so, so surreal at how quickly the last 3 months have flown by. Granted, I know I spent a month trotting around Thailand and Malaysia but it has honestly gone by in the blink of an eye and I just wanted to give you a little update.
In case you don’t know what I’m talking about, the full details are in this post here – in brief, on the 9th of June my world as I knew it fell apart. My relationship ended to my boyfriend and best friend of six years after I found out he’d cheated on me with a ‘friend’. Even now, reading that post back is emotional for me as it’s just so, so raw – you can feel my emotion and just how painful it was for me to write as I poured my heart out on a flight to Greece (sat in between two very bewildered looking Greek men!).
I can honestly say that the last three months has been a crazy emotional rollercoaster, but now I’m in such a good place. The amount of people that said to me at the time ‘Hayley I want to show you just how fine you’ll be in six months time’ – it was so hard to believe at the time as I couldn’t even see past that day let alone in six months time. The pain was real and I experienced every emotion (ever?!), from grief, to anger, to hatred, to sadness – for a few weeks it was a cycle but I snapped out of it pretty quickly.
People around me have said how well I’ve coped (and I’ve even been accused of ‘coping too well’ which is bullshit as I’ll show you as much or as little of how I’m feeling as I need to). When you go through something like this, people don’t always know what’s going on on the inside or behind closed doors, but I have to say it didn’t take me all that long to pull my shit together.
I really am quite a strong minded person and I learnt to forgive Rob after a matter of weeks, he made a really shitty decision/mistake but by no means does it mean he’s a bad person. In fact, he’s a wonderful person – one of the best that I had the pleasure of knowing and having a chance to spend the last six years of my life with. And what an amazing six years they were! I learnt to be thankful for the past but to leave it in the past, it was now time for my future. Granted, he could have dealt with the situation better or he could just not have done it at all, but he did and so that’s that.
I learnt to let go of any anger and hatred aimed at all involved as I realised fairly quickly that if I carried it around with me, the only person it would affect evidently was me. I thought I’d been through enough pain I didn’t want it to carry on, I left my ‘baggage’ in the past and applied my energy into my career and travels and in the last three months I’ve achieved more than I have in the last year, I have to say it’s been an amazing experience – not at the beginning but the last few weeks have made a drastic turnaround!
I’ve travelled to Thailand and Malaysia with my best friend, I went to Reading festival with my blogging babe Megan, shot an amazing campaign with adidas which I’m extremely proud of and I’ve had some amazing collaborations coming in from my blog. I think I was dealt my shit hand for a while, now it’s time to enjoy the positives!
In terms of my relationship with Rob, I’m so happy with where we’re at – we’ve talked several times and are being friendly which I’m so proud of both of us for. I dealt with enough shit and drama, I didn’t want to hate him, or for any of my friends or family to either, like I said it was time to bury it all and leave it in the past. I truly believe that people do bad things but it doesn’t always make them bad people, how we grow and bounce back from our mistakes should be what defines us rather than the mistake itself.
Overall, I’m so proud of myself (if that isn’t so cliche to say?!) – I feel like I’ve dealt with the situation in the best way that I possibly could. It’s time for me to grow as a person now, to figure out what I truly want from life, to focus on my blog and everyday that it succeeds is another day I have to pinch myself that this is now my life!
I truly believe that everything happens for a reason, and sometimes things really do have to fall apart for them to fall back together again – but remember it’s always you that’s in control of how the pieces fit back together.
Don’t let anyone else be in charge of your happiness but yourself – we got this girls! <3